Inescapable Truths

Drowning out,
that internal engine,
that hums with malcontent,

not with chaos,

but silence.

What will I say now?

Without the unacknowledged roar,

of my upturned soul?

I don't even believe,

in the struggle anymore.

It's validity,

it's righteousness,

or purpose.

It's a perfunctory shell,

cast upon the shore.

Grey calcium remnants,

of some poor creatures old home,

who was,
probably eaten up,

by some other wretch of the depths.

It's the unanswered challenge that haunts me.

To be free,

not as a matter of principal or action,

but to remain at all times,

simply an ideal.

A piece of vocabulary.

A word etched,

either on an arm,

or in a mind.

The hardest part isn't doing,
those unfathomable things.

The hardest part,
is loosing the purpose,

in the crushing monotony
that follows.

Real or not, 

there was a faith,

in those vaulted idealizations.
In pen and ink,

that sent my cries into a universe that cared.

Surprise.

I am the universe. 

I am the tear that falls.
And the heart that recives it.
The child that weaps.
And the mother that calms it.

All these things.
Seen and experinced,
felt and shared,
nothing but,
rancorous self-importance,
to bleed out the dull-grey
and the whimper of the everyday.

My vision was a lie.

A joke.

A larf

A fad.

A fucking sham.

And it continues.

Onwards towards another rabbit-hole destiny.

Still thinking we're 'getting somewhere'

till we fall,

back into the new and familiar blackness.

Until there's no where to go.

Pining for a time, 

that makes no sense.

A time that never was,

a breath of fresh air,

outside of which is inescapable,

that which thou art.

Trans-Oceanic Inspiration

Wait. 

Wait long enough,
until the pain chrystalizes into memories you'll never forget. 

Wait, 

Until the tide washes away the harsher edges of all that has been,
and you become a collection 
of all the smiles you have seen, 
10 million or more,
over the years 
and never one the same. 
Never one that didn't melt,
your tired, wary, heart 
and some 
that did much, much more than that. 

Nothing perfect or pretty about it.
Thank god.

So.
Here's my advice.
If you want to live,
Live.

If you want to know,
see the world. 
Not just for what you want,
or what you think you know.

If you really want to know, 

you.
must.
know. 

You must touch 
and see 
and feel.

and be touched,
and felt,
and scene. 

Take it and run while you still can,
run, baby run. 
until that old familiar sun 
sets on new sands, 
with different eyes. 
And new is breathed back into you
from the life, within each breath. 

Walk tall,
in the direction of forever after. 
And embrace it
with compassion.

Welcome to the fairy tale. 
It's a wanderer, 
just like you. 

I believe what I have seen with my own eyes. 
I believe in the miracle of redemption. 
I believe that love is real, 
endless, 
nameless, 
lost and confused 
and spins around a universe that cares. 
That picks you up on its back and carries you through. 
Past all doubt, stupidity and shame. 
Carries you on relentlessly, 
in its love of you. 

Be alive,
without compromise.

It's the only way to live. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDZjgKfgIlg