The cold, white snow cracked underfoot, giving way just a little before sinking to the frozen soil below. As always, the winter day was setting before it even began, casting, long, lazy streams of sunlight through the trees. Snowflakes danced like paper crystals in the air, gusting waves of glistening cloud into my eyes. Brittle branches creaked and swayed, with single dead brown leaves quivering a lonely hello as I made my way deeper into the woods. Coming upon a shallow, fast moving creek I inhaled deeply the pungent mix of mud and ice cold water. I stumbled ever closer, held heavy under the weight of pills and alcohol. Drowning in apathy and inhibition, I cloaked myself in the beauty around me and it stirred my sadness. Hot tears welled and burst from their ducts, streaming slowly down my cheeks, ending as cold raindrops from my nose. Nature was unusually kind today and revealing of her precious secret power to overwhelm you.
I stuck my feet in the water and soon my shoes were filled to the brim and I could feel the ice water leaching between my shoes, around my arches and ankles, stealing their warmth. It wasn’t long before my feet were numb, then hot again. I took a deep drink from the amber colored alcohol in my rub-red hands. It tasted sweet and harsh and burned its way down my throat. My eyes closed reflexively and I stood in the half light, swaying in lazy waltz with the motion of the trees. Left………….. right………..
I came to my knees and let the water rush past my calves and knees, piling up against my thighs. I began to shake ever so slightly, involuntarily my body continuing its will to live. I looked up at the sky, grey-wash cement clouds mixing against the blue tapestry, the sun peppering my eyes, blinking shadows. I soon stopped shaking. My legs felt heavy, like lead weights tied off around the thigh, floating behind me, amputated. I laid down backwards and inhaled sharply from the shock of cold cascading around my body. My head exposed, water rushed in to block my ears and I fell into a rumbling silence. I winced but never moved. Slowly the pain gave way and my body began to fade, heavy with water and numbness, needled in place by invisible threads of ice. The tears came again, only short burst of eye water mixing with the dim light, warming my eyelids before disappearing forever. I fingered the stones beneath my hands and sighed deeply; smooth and water worn. I lingered for a moment in the effervescent sunshine, watching the powdery flakes float away, taking me along, higher and higher, above the deserted canopy, back from where they came.
