Assumptions

I have to be practical.
I have to be clean.
I have to be efficient.
I have to be on time.
I have to be rational.
I have to be measurable.
I have to work hard.
I have to apply myself.
I have to achieve.
I have to succeed.
I have to excel.
I have to contain.
I have to explain.
I have to be smart.
I have to be thin
I have to be pretty
I have to be loving
I have to be kind
I have to be a good person
I have to go to yoga
I have to medicate
I have to have a family
I have to have a dog
I have to love my parents
I have to have a mentor
I have to travel
I have to do thing better than you
I have to compete
I have to get good marks
I have to provide for myself
I have to save trees
I have to recycle
I have to have an opinion on politics
I have to vote
I have to get in line
I have to stand in line
I have to pay my dues
I have to struggle
I have to be grateful
I have to love myself
I have to feel great
I have to have fun
I have to be fun
I have to get up
I have to be a morning person
I have to eat healthy
I have to be strong
I have to have friends
I have to have a partner
I have to be loved
I have to be social
I have to know culture
I have to be witty
I have to be cute
I have to smile
I have to wash my face
I have to brush my teeth
I have to read
I have to write
I have to play an instrument
I have to plant a garden
I have to clean my house
I have to rise to the top
I have to know geography
I have to learn new languages
I have to say something useful
I have to help you
I have to examine my life
I have to spell properly
I have to do math
I have to hear my heart song
I have to be loved by attractive people
I have to be loved by smart people
I have to hate the wrong things
I have to love the right things
I have to nap
I have to get 8 hours
I have to push through
I have to go to bed earlier
I have to get up on time
I have to do it anyway
I have to put my nose to the grindstone
I have to pay attention
I have to play the game

I have to
be authentic. 

I am a series of ongoing, incomplete assumptions.

Aurore

Pierced,
by warming dew,
the dripping leaves
fall,
like the tears of trees.

Echoes of a lonely night,
lost rays,
of dead sunshine,
nothing left but steam,
and cold water
to trickle down gutters,
along with,
the debris and hubris,
drunks,
and disease. 

A diesel engine roars,
and nighttime flickers,
casting an auburn stare,
of panoramic golds,
an inspiring obligation,
for a few old bones,
who quiver and ache,
from the bitter taste,
of daylight.

Oh the the moment,
between night and day,
to be up in the rising swell,
witness to the turbulent parade
mixing our before and afters,
on a timeless interstate. 

Of all the things there are to see,
this is the one,
that will always be precious to me.

Until She Does

The night mocked me with its' shadows,

soul-less herds on parade

down the boulevard.

Keeping time with the doors that smile 

that crooked smile,

in the false luminescence

of a wayward street light,

sickly orange hued madness

that pierced my eyes,

and turns my guts into;

a sleepless madhouse.

It's easy to believe

we're all broken in the night

and to find yourself wandering,

amongst the miscreants.

I am haunted by,

what I cannot achieve

but more so tortured;

as those empty promises

ring the bells

of half past three

and go echoing down,

these empty concrete corridors.

Her eyes spoke to me the words,

which hid from her mouth,

as she cast about for meaning,

in the din and hollow,

staring into

one good eye,

begging to be seen.

Here's to an internal life,

straight from the heart,

of the universe's ocean,

Where nothing will rest,

until she does. 

The Feel of Summer

the sun's golden rays
upon my face,
irrational and innocent
like that summer night's,
first kiss.

that humid air,
the slippery breeze,
which sits beneath the trees
and inside me.

tumultuous clouds,
asunder in an afternoon storm,
weak with excited exhaustion,
from one more swing
in noon day shadows. 

and those nights!
illuminated by a twinkling tapestry
that spreads on towards infinity.

where vulnerable skin,
meets cool inky darkness
and promises are made
that layer themselves so thickly
in the recesses of your mind,
that you'll loose yourself
and the rest of your life,
trying to peel them off
with the rational application,
of obligation.

it's no good. 

even love's most most passionate embrace,
cannot replace,
the feel
of summer.

The Man Who Stands

There is a man

who stands all day

lurking in the city shadows,

asking for nothing from anyone

except

to grow older alone,

on the city street.

He does not curse or whisper 

he does not follow or lead,

he simply is

everywhere. 

Worn-out,

he's all shut off

except for the feet

that keep him upright,

through worn-out shoes.

It's all the same

one corner to the next 

suffering from

abject apathy,

for all the things a man should want

 to live 

never crossed his mind.

A Funny Lament

I'm glad

I know the taste of a cigarette in the rain

fluttering tobacco ash

that hot, burning ember

racing towards

tight lips

the way it

mixes the cold
and the loneliness
in empty space

the way it 
comforts your soul

until its gone

the last breath out

as you open

the door

again

I'm glad I know it

but maybe more so

that I don't know it

anymore

A Change of Place

The dream can live
if you let it,
in this familiar shadowy light,
and the way it plays amongst the leaves.


Besides,
all memory's the same.
one picture,
of a million moments,
caught together,
in the decaying net of time.


And as one,
after another,
slips away,
more things,
than could ever have been imagined
are seen,
felt,
and lost;
while waiting for the time to come,
when it doesn't hurt anymore,
to see all the beauty
that we cannot have.


If you wish to live,
you must feel.


Everything.


But if you wish to die,
you must suffer,
and not realize,

they are not the same.