Over

There comes a time, 

when that fire of youth,

burns up,

all that is non-renewable within you. 

And you become fatigued 

as the muscles of your ferocity

ache and cave, 

in line with a desire, 

to be anything but numb. 

Age is,

the number of lies ones told themselves, 

etched as lines upon a weathered face.

Time's a winter,

that freezes shut,

a once sacred place. 

The dream lives on,

until it's over.

And the dream,
is over.

Inescapable Truths

Drowning out,
that internal engine,
that hums with malcontent,

not with chaos,

but silence.

What will I say now?

Without the unacknowledged roar,

of my upturned soul?

I don't even believe,

in the struggle anymore.

It's validity,

it's righteousness,

or purpose.

It's a perfunctory shell,

cast upon the shore.

Grey calcium remnants,

of some poor creatures old home,

who was,
probably eaten up,

by some other wretch of the depths.

It's the unanswered challenge that haunts me.

To be free,

not as a matter of principal or action,

but to remain at all times,

simply an ideal.

A piece of vocabulary.

A word etched,

either on an arm,

or in a mind.

The hardest part isn't doing,
those unfathomable things.

The hardest part,
is loosing the purpose,

in the crushing monotony
that follows.

Real or not, 

there was a faith,

in those vaulted idealizations.
In pen and ink,

that sent my cries into a universe that cared.

Surprise.

I am the universe. 

I am the tear that falls.
And the heart that recives it.
The child that weaps.
And the mother that calms it.

All these things.
Seen and experinced,
felt and shared,
nothing but,
rancorous self-importance,
to bleed out the dull-grey
and the whimper of the everyday.

My vision was a lie.

A joke.

A larf

A fad.

A fucking sham.

And it continues.

Onwards towards another rabbit-hole destiny.

Still thinking we're 'getting somewhere'

till we fall,

back into the new and familiar blackness.

Until there's no where to go.

Pining for a time, 

that makes no sense.

A time that never was,

a breath of fresh air,

outside of which is inescapable,

that which thou art.

Trans-Oceanic Inspiration

Wait. 

Wait long enough,
until the pain chrystalizes into memories you'll never forget. 

Wait, 

Until the tide washes away the harsher edges of all that has been,
and you become a collection 
of all the smiles you have seen, 
10 million or more,
over the years 
and never one the same. 
Never one that didn't melt,
your tired, wary, heart 
and some 
that did much, much more than that. 

Nothing perfect or pretty about it.
Thank god.

So.
Here's my advice.
If you want to live,
Live.

If you want to know,
see the world. 
Not just for what you want,
or what you think you know.

If you really want to know, 

you.
must.
know. 

You must touch 
and see 
and feel.

and be touched,
and felt,
and scene. 

Take it and run while you still can,
run, baby run. 
until that old familiar sun 
sets on new sands, 
with different eyes. 
And new is breathed back into you
from the life, within each breath. 

Walk tall,
in the direction of forever after. 
And embrace it
with compassion.

Welcome to the fairy tale. 
It's a wanderer, 
just like you. 

I believe what I have seen with my own eyes. 
I believe in the miracle of redemption. 
I believe that love is real, 
endless, 
nameless, 
lost and confused 
and spins around a universe that cares. 
That picks you up on its back and carries you through. 
Past all doubt, stupidity and shame. 
Carries you on relentlessly, 
in its love of you. 

Be alive,
without compromise.

It's the only way to live. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDZjgKfgIlg

New Daylight

alight in the glow of,
a sunset of characters.

bearing witness,
to all the threads that bind,
past and present,
through gooey outstretched bands
of beaded sweat.
an aggregation of all efforts,
of all trials
and tribulations.

of the heartbreak,

heartache

and disappointment

we all must sustain

to be on our own -
with all that was,
and all that is,
and all that could be.

and when emerging
from that cold and dampened night,
of self imposed isolation,
however necessary,
never let it cease to amaze
and excite,

that which can be seen so clearly,
as if for the first time,

from the promise
of new daylight.

The Reminder

Her orange in the breeze,

succulent roasted sunshine,

annihilates the stagnant air

and reminds me how to breath.

Deeply.

And for the pleasure of it.

Never Enough

Moments of panic,

followed by

moments of calm

I can do this

I can do this

Sometimes it's too much

Sometimes not enough

I have no idea how to do it all.

How to heal, protect and conquer

How to grow, manifest and dream

How to be all things for all times, at all times

Solving myself like a riddle, a problem

something to be fixed, rewired, changed

trying to create

with the canvas of accomplishment

and capability

trying, trying trying

all the time

its exhausting

and it's never  enough

The Last Laugh

And when I do, remember this

I'll be laughing

and you'll pay me to tell you how I did it

to share with you the secret

not behind success

but inside it

and I'll laugh

and compassionately tell you anyway

because my misery

is your misery

through the grace of knowing it