Continued Exercises in Simplicity

Sitting in a crowed café in my mind,

really just a bed,

a bottle of wine

and repeating Elliot Smith.

Starving myself

towards perfection.

I don't want to see anyone anymore,

ever again.

Don't want to be let down,

don't want to realize just how much,

they are going to let you down.

Everyone is human,

those human traits,

those human people .

They say you hate what you know.

I am the second loneliest person I know.

For it is not me that is lonely specifically.

It is not the person

but the spirit that spits and sputters around the universe,

looking for its mate.

Its utilitarian equal,

trying to be reborn at every turn,

to find it's mommy and daddy again.

To find its roots in the abyss.

Getting excited at the stupidest things.

A passing comet,

or a new blaze on the horizon,

through the darkness,

a light.

Hello Moon! Will you be my friend?

Hello Nebula! Will you be my friend?

Hello Meteor! Will you be my. .

Until it just gets tired,

of all the cold cosmic indifference,

and decides to float away in silence,

eating through its final millenia in quiet,

happy pairs of gravity addicted planets and satellites

gaily orbiting into the sunset.

It isn't me but my spirit

that sighs with discontent.

It isn't me.

Don't leave me alone. Don't leave me be. Don't let me down. Stop disappointing me. Stop letting me down. Don't leave me be. Don't leave me. Don't leave, please.

Fuck it.

I'll draw my own friends.

Eyes and ears on the things around me.

Give them an obvious name.

Don't need anyone.

Or anything,

just me and the things that don't move around me.

The inanimates can't sense my fear,

or desperation.

Ennui.

Backgammon.

Rage.

So many years I spent as a quiet little girl,

to end up this man.

Call me brother.

Call me anything,

but the name my mother gave me.

You have to know me,

to fit inside,

even if,

I once fit inside you.

But its just one, two, three

turns on the catwalk,

give 'em that grin

and let them in.

Gravity will pick you up soon enough.

No wind in your ears,

when your swimming through a vacuum,

just the resonate sound,

of the creation of everything

spilling into time

and outwards from the centre

of infiniti

We are all the same.

Peppermint mocha latte.

Don't tell me you can't see,

the parameters around you too?

And resent their impertinence?

Even just once in a while?

Fake lessons.

Writing our stories out.

In the silence

In the silence

In the silence

There is nothing.

It is not me but my spirit that gets lonely.

I'm OK.

But please don't leave me all the same,

surrounded by trash

and trying to walk backwards

towards some kind of infinite meaning.

Remind me that maybe it is good enough,

good enough today,

just to be alive.

Alleviate this burden

of proof

to unite everything

inside me,

with everything

out there.

I am speechless,

quiet for too long.

Nothing but loveless murmurs,

over the endless stream of lies.

Love You Baby

I Love You

Puss Puss

Bisous

Let be friends

until the end

until the end

If only we were able,

to mean what we said

said what we meant.

If only we were capable of meaning

anything at all,

using these stupid syllables.

Jettisoned through human lungs

across the void,

across the voie,

its meaningless,

and you can feel it too

that's why you hold me closer.

But its OK,

its not me that's lonely.

Endlessly searching

for the meaning in everything.

Forgetting to open,

  mypretty little mouth

and let the dust settle in.

After all,

that is how you taste the world

After all,

you open your mouth,

and wait.

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